Less is more. Or at least, that’s the whole idea behind this capsule wardrobe thing, isn’t it? There are a ton of posts out there explaining it, and you know how to google, so I’ll let you educate yourself if you need to.
About 9 months ago I emptied my storage of a heap of things I literally have not used since I split up with my ex-husband in 2013. There were plenty of painful memories hidden in all those old boxes, but good memories too. And more than a few of those boxes were full of things I had still packed up from before I got married.
Reuniting with my younger, pre-marriage self has been hugely cathartic. My heart got kicked around and bruised up about this time last year. I resolved to spend the summer of 2019 falling back in love with myself. Digging out all these boxes and going through them starting at the end of the summer was a painful but liberating test of that love. Choosing to toss or integrate them back into my life is a seemingly endless string of difficult decisions.
I’ve always been a pack rat. I mean, I was raised by pack rats so it’s always seemed inevitable or at least natural. But the older I get the more I feel like all those trappings are more about control than they are about any sincere need I have for them.
I’m not some zen master who is never affected by ads or other media, but I usually manage to channel my desires to consume into small impulse purchases. And by small I mean $3, or less, so truly a small amount.
It’s also easier when you can’t go out. Some people talk about online shopping being so much easier to get carried away with, but for me it really loses it’s appeal. I think I enjoy the social aspects of shopping as much as anything else. Now that I feel like I’m hemmed in by all these boxes it’s become even easier.
Just like so many others, I’m getting rid of things more prolifically than I ever have before, vaguely following the parts of the Marie Kondo method that make sense to me. Honestly, I think it’s a great method, but as someone who struggles with depression the whole process of listening to my heart and seeing what ‘sparks joy’ is a different proposition for me. I try to ask myself if I would buy it today, or if I can imagine using it in the future.
Another phrase that works well for me is ‘What does this mean to me?” It seems like the closest I can get to the spirit of joy. It may not seem like a big deal, but when nothing brings you joy because you’re depressed, it’s not the time to throw out all your stuff, no matter how much stuff you have. Regardless of whether the memories are good or bad, When things have meaning they matter. Those are the things I want to surround myself with.
Kondo instructs you to break all the things you have into categories and tackle the biggest ones first. The mountain of clothing in every room of the house made it obvious where I needed to start. I knew one of the fastest criteria for eliminating things would be how they fit. With a good full length mirror and a supportive boyfriend to back me up if I got stuck, I dug in. It surprised me how shockingly easy it was to decide what fit the way I wanted.
All of my life I’ve worked hard to dress my weirdly sized and proportioned body. Way too hard, honestly. I’ve worn some things that were truly uncomfortable to look good. These days I work from home, for myself. All my relationships are the settled in kind, so I rarely go out. When I do, I’m never on the prowl. The closer I get to being over 40 the more I am so over wearing anything that doesn’t make me feel comfortable and happy.
That eliminated a lot of the pile. But there was plenty more to go. I took a break and did some thinking. I watched some YouTube videos on developing a personal style and I decided to give it a try. Little did I know at the time that I’d eventually be sharing my style journey with you! Hopefully it will inspire you to do the same.
The first step I wanted to do was to develop a personal color palette to help my new, truly ‘ME’ wardrobe match. I started with neutrals.
Neutrals form the backbone of most wardrobes. They’re the colors that can match with most everything. Standard neutrals are: Black, white, grey, navy, khaki, tan, brown, and denim. I hate navy blue, I own almost nothing in that color, so not that. And looking through the remaining pile of clothes I had that looked good on me and made me feel good, white, khaki, and tan were also decidedly off the list. That left brown, grey, and black.
Ahhh, black my old friend. I own a ridiculously large amount of black clothing. When I worked as a techie, black clothes were my ‘work uniform’. As a goth in college, black clothes kept people as far from me as I wanted them to be. Far, far away. Black matches everything! Black doesn’t show stains! Black gives my tiny body more visual weight so people don’t walk right in to me as often!
It’s funny, my new boyfriend has been really shocked to see my everyday clothes, and he says the reason why is all the black. I’m a bubbly, enthusiastic person! All of my historical garb is brightly colored! Bright jewel tones look really good on me! I can’t argue. All of those things are true. But black is my old friend. My favorite neutral. Black was the first color I decided was going on the list.
Knowing that, I was pretty tempted to go for a classic goth palette of black, red, and purple. Maybe toss in silver and white. Except I rarely wear white. It’s too hard to keep it white. It’s too easily see through. Most importantly, it doesn’t make me feel pretty. The only time it did that was on my wedding day and that wasn’t about the white, it was about the custom designed dress. It’s very hard not to feel pretty in a dress you designed yourself and made specifically to fit you. It’s worth the effort to make something for yourself, but maybe not a wedding dress?
As much as the black/red/purple combo attracted me it’s also really generic. It plays to the stereotype enough that it’s honestly a bit more hard-edged goth than I’ve ever been. I’m more of a Siouxsie Sioux, Dead Can Dance, Switchblade Symphony, Apocalyptica, Rasputina kinda of goth than the Ministry, Skinny Puppy, Bauhaus, Joy Division kind. So I started to rethink.
Red isn’t actually a color that makes me feel that pretty, but purple does. It’s my favorite color. It was staying on the list, even if red wasn’t. I don’t like white, but grey is nice, and looks surprisingly good on me. I have a beautiful grey silk dress that makes me feel amazing. It also looks good with purple, my first color. So I have black, purple, and grey.
After that I look through all the clothes I have in the pile to keep, looking for any other colors that recur again and again. Three colors stand out: Blue, green, and teal, I add blue and green to the list. Both look good with the other colors in the palette, and the neutrals. And since I’m not picking specific shades so much as a general colors, teal falls into half green and half blue.
Lots of people like to choose specific shades for their capsule wardrobe, but those are usually seasonal capsule wardrobes. I’m building mine to be an all seasons capsule wardrobe, and I plan to keep wearing and improving it forever. In the future when things wear out they can be replaced. It’s not a very common way to approach it, but it suits my needs and lifestyle. And it should give me more room for historical clothing, books, and jars of arcane herbs.
Also, just in general, I have a much looser, boho kind of definition of what ‘matching’ means. Sometimes I like wearing different shades of the same color in one outfit, which is something most people hate. Honestly, it’s totally my aesthetic. But that’s my capsule wardrobe, not yours. You should absolutely make your capsule wardrobe to fit your aesthetic. That’s the point of making your own rather than buy a capsule wardrobe.
I chose brown for my final color, another neutral to help with matching. I count in the brown category ‘light’ brown colors like ecru and ivory. That covers the lace accents and various patterns. Brown is also the standard neutral in the steampunk palette. Together with green and blue, it’s very earthy.
This is my final palette for my entire wardrobe. And honestly, restricting myself to garments with a strong component of some shade of these six colors has been incredibly freeing. I know it seems counter intuitive, but it’s true!
I buy most of my clothing second hand, and it used to take me quite awhile to dig through things and find those gems I was looking for. Now all I have to do is find my size and I can flip through the clothes by color in no time. I know what fabrics I like the feel of, and I’m getting better at picking the things that fit my body without trying them on. My usual thrifting companion was shocked by how fast I was able to shop my way through the store. It’s great because it means we have time to go to more thrift stores!